Head Over Heels
by OneLittleBlueJay
Summary: Levi always went out on Friday nights. But this time, he seems more drunk than usual. Oneshot. ErenxLevi. Contains handcuffs, a sexy cop outfit, and sequined red ruby high heels.


Hi everyone! For those of you who have already seen this oneshot in 'Inexplicably You,' I decided to re-publish the oneshots separately. Sorry for any confusion! And to chose who follow Kyojin University: I am still working on Chapter 11; forgive me...I'm in the middle of finals.

Also, the cover image for this oneshot was made by the lovely **chou-no-yume** on deviantART! (who is also suzutimestwo on ffnet)

**Disclaimer: I do not own SnK or any of the bishies in it.**

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**Head Over Heels**

It was Friday night, which meant bad news for Eren Jeager.

Ever since he and Levi had moved in together due to Levi's promotion to a police officer, Levi had been taking liberties with his free time—dangerous liberties.

Now, don't get Eren wrong. Living with Levi was great for the most part. Once Eren had learned to cope with the neat-freak inside of Levi, most nights were rather harmonious. Levi would come home tired, grumbling about whatever new controversy Erwin managed to stir up with the other police officers ("Sometimes I wonder why I stick with the idiot"), and would immediately be met with a cup of tea made by Eren himself (not that he had asked Mikasa for help making it or anything). Then the two would eat dinner, watch TV, and talk about the goings-on at the police department.

But Friday nights were Levi's nights. Friday nights were when Levi went out drinking with the other members of the Survey Corps and Special-Ops Squad of the police force. Since Eren was still a student of the Police Academy, he was banned from such activities until he had received his badge.

(Technically Levi wasn't allowed to go out drinking either, but a few pulled strings from Oluo quickly changed that. No one challenged the deputy officer.)

Eren quickly found out what type of drunk Levi was the first time he came home from one of these drinking nights. Erwin had showed up at the front door of at night supporting the officer against his shoulder.

"He's all yours," Erwin had simply said, and heaved Levi into Eren's arms. Eren stumbled, taking on the full weight of the officer (who was heavier than he looked), and could only stare at Erwin, who hiccupped before excusing himself and leaving the apartment.

Apparently, Levi was an angry drunk.

"Unhand me, shitty brat," Levi had slurred once the front door had closed, his voice dangerously low.

"You're drunk…you can barely walk," Eren had replied, gesturing towards Levi's shaking legs.

Wrong answer.

The rest of the night had been hell. First, Levi had punched Eren in the gut for not letting him go (and promptly crumbled to the floor after realizing he couldn't stand on his own). He then proceeded to complain about every little thing he saw wrong with the apartment ("Why are the plates not stacked correctly?" "Why aren't the clothes folded?" "_Goddammit Eren,_ I will handcuff you to a broom if I have to; CLEAN THE DAMN FLOOR!") And the next morning, Eren would have to deal with Levi's severe hangovers and even worse attitude.

(Luckily Levi would always apologize for his harsh behavior during the week…the problem was, he never remembered what he did when he was drunk, so he didn't really know what he was apologizing for).

Eren dealt with this every week.

So it was no surprise that at exactly two minutes before midnight, a familiar knock on the door roused Eren from his nap. The academy student walked to the door, preparing for another round of more-bitchy-than-usual-Levi.

Surprisingly, it was Hanji who supported the drunk officer when Eren opened the door. And she was grinning.

"Have fun," she said slyly, handing him off to Eren before she literally skipped out the front door.

As the door slammed, Levi groaned. Eren jolted, remembering that he was holding his half-conscious superior, and hastily half-carried, half-dragged Levi to the couch in the middle of the living room. He gently laid the police officer onto the soft cushions and took a step back to survey what state Levi was in this time.

Flushed cheeks, slightly sweaty.

Okay, nothing Eren wasn't used to seeing.

(Because Levi came home drunk all of the time! Not anything else!)

"I'll get you some water," Eren told Levi quietly, who groaned again. As Eren filled a glass with water, he couldn't help but notice that no harsh insults or commands had been hurled his way yet. Granted, it had only been 5 minutes, but that was already a record in itself. He padded on over back to the couch and moved to help Levi sit up.

"I can sit up by myself, brat," Levi quipped, but silently took the glass of water, gulping it down.

_CRASH!_

The glass hit the floor as Levi's eyes widened considerably. Eren yelped, scrambling from the couch to sweep up the mess before Levi noticed what he had done to the floor.

"Are you okay?" Eren asked as he swept up the glass. Apparently not- Levi wasn't answering; his fingers were now clenching the couch cushions as he seemed to be glaring intently at the wall.

"Hey, Eren," he suddenly mumbled. Eren halted, dustpan in one hand and broom in the other.

"Come here."

Gulping, Eren cautiously bent down to Levi's level.

"I'm going to arrest you for spilling that water," the officer hissed, pulling the hem of Eren's shirt down so that they were eye-level. Alarms went off in Eren's head as he quickly backed away from the other. Levi stood up on his own and slowly approached Eren, snatching the broom from his hands and holding it an arm's length away from himself.

"You're under arrest," he told the broom, dead serious.

And then Levi _giggled._

5 minutes later, Eren was frantically dialing Hanji's number. The scientist picked up the phone after the second beep.

"Hey, Eren! Having fun over there?" Hanji said. It sounded like she was trying to hold in a laugh.

"Hanji, what did you _do_ to him!?" Eren shrieked, watching helplessly as the super-drunk Levi started slicing through the air with a broom as if it were a sword.

"I may have whipped up a little concoction for experimentation," Hanji's mischievous voice answered from the other line, "I slipped it into his drink earlier. Tell me, has he started hallucinating yet?"

"I think he already is," Eren moaned as Levi told a lamp that it was under arrest for not being clean whilst waving the broom back and forth.

"Oh goodie!" came Hanji's slurred voice, "I can't believe that…that…one drop can do so much!"

"THIS IS JUST ONE DROP!?" Eren roared into the phone before freezing. Levi had disappeared.

"One drop…one teaspoon…one pint...it's all the same!" giggled Hanji, who then hiccupped.

"Hanji, are you _drunk_?" Eren asked, incredulous.

"Just a little tipsy—whoooaaa!" A crash from the other line before it went dead.

Eren smacked his forehead with the hand not holding the dustpan. Of _course_ Hanji would do something like this. Heck, she had even used Eren for one of her experiments which had involved a feather, a treadmill, and lots of lemonade.

"Eren," Levi's voice broke through Eren's train of thought.

_Here we go, _the other thought, turning around to face his living nightmare.

Wait.

_Oh._

_My._

_God._

Levi stood in front of him, arms crossed. He was all decked out in his police uniform, except his pants were rolled up _way_ too high, revealing the milky skin of his thighs. A pair of gleaming handcuffs was dangling from his teeth. Eren felt the heat rise to his face as he took in his superior's appearance, trying to avoid the other's intense gaze.

Oh, but that wasn't the worst of it.

Levi was standing eye-level with Eren. The sudden change of height caused Eren to trail his eyes down Levi's body until he reached his feet. There, dazzling in all of their glory, were a pair of sequined red ruby high heels. Levi walked forward, heels clicking against the tiled floor.

Eren choked as Levi uncrossed his arms and slowly wrapped them around Eren's shoulders, running his fingers up and down the hairs on the back of Eren's neck.

"Dance with me," he tried to slur sexily, except the handcuffs were still in his mouth so it sounded more like "Danth wuth muuuuh."

Eren could only stand there, mortified, as Levi brought his face closer, his dark obsidian locks brushing against Eren's cheek. His mouth opened, releasing the handcuffs. Eren held his breath.

"I'm going to handcuff your sexy little ass to my bed," Levi whispered in his ear, expression completely calm. Blood rushed to Eren's face as he stuttered, trying to pull the other off of him. This only prompted Levi to press closer, his torso and waist flush against Eren's.

"L-Levi…let go," Eren pleaded half-heartedly, but Levi would have none of it. Suddenly his face was coming closer to Eren's; his lips opened slightly as eyes closed, revealing dark long lashes fluttering as his lips touched Eren's-

"ARRGHGH!"

In his moment of lust, Levi had taken another step forward, sinking his heels right into Eren's foot and causing both of them to tumble backwards onto the floor.

"Are you okay?" Eren groaned as the full weight of Levi kept him pinned to the floor. Levi didn't respond, his face buried into Eren's shoulder. He was breathing deeply.

"Levi?"

Again, no answer. Levi must have fallen asleep.

_Dammit._

Eren sighed, bringing a hand up to stroke Levi's hair as he tried to ignore the fact that their waists were still pressing against each other and that Levi's pants had somehow impossibly ridden up even more. He was too tired to try to lift the officer, so Eren settled for their position on the floor, bringing his other hand to gently embrace Levi. Exhaustion from the crazy night's events finally overcoming his senses, Eren finally succumbed to sweet slumber.

The next morning, he was awoken by an angry Levi chucking the pair of heels at his head, muttering, "Keep your weird fetishes to yourself, shitty brat."

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*giggles mischievously* I hope you liked it! X3 Reviews are always appreciated!

Until next time,

-Jay


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